Liz's Spot






About Me

O satisfy us in

the morning with

Your lovingkindness,

That we may sing

for joy and be glad

all our days.

Psalm 90:14


Thursday, March 26, 2009


Wow, that helped.

I feel a little better.

Anger's kind of like flatulence (oh good, there, I can laugh at myself a little...).

Actually, let's just go ahead and seal the coffin:

Anger is like flatulence. Anger builds until you may feel like you're about to explode... then you feel a little better after some of it's been released... and nobody wants to be around when you let it go. :-/ But usually everything improves after it dissipates. I guess that's where the two diverge... it is possible to do permanent damage with anger, and everything may not be better when it dissipates, if you aren't careful.

Well, good. Back to work. Did I mention I work nights? Nevermind.

[I suppose in this way I could avoid the technicality of "letting the sun go down on my anger"--sort of. If you don't go to bed, you can't close the day on it... sort of.]


I am thoroughly angry. Enraged, in moments. It isn't good for me, and I'm even somewhat angry that I'm angry. It's like a defeat in itself. I think there is steam coming out of my ears. That might be funny except that I am actually angry.


Why can't it be easier to do what's right? Why can't I just decide to "feel" the right way and then feel the right way?

I may look nice on the outside, but in some deep down important things, I am very stubborn. And I like it. Kind of. Actually it's like a weight around my ankle, reminding me of doom, but I am yet stubborn. It's like I recently read in a book--"my will hadn't been broken yet." What will it take with me? Will I knock my head against the wall for the rest of my life? How does one submit one's will? My will is doing everything in its power to never submit! I can't even catch it, it's running the other way so fast.

So my anger has me simmering, and yet I'm not happy I'm angry. I don't want to be angry because there is a good reason for what's being done. I basically trust the person I'm angry at, though obviously I am still angry--go figure. In theory I basically fully trust this person. Good thing it's proving so effective in moderating my emotions. Yeah right.

If I knew what submission was, I might try it right now...