RelevantThis past weekend, I got my wisdom teeth out. This weekend was a study in deliberate rest and not needing to be anywhere. As I've been resting, I've also been reading. One book is The Heir, by one of my favorite teachers, Paul Robertson. The other book is Reaching for the Invisible God, by Philip Yancey.
The Philip Yancey book has been addressing things I've been thinking about. It has been putting words to struggles I haven't even been identifying in my mind but which have been there. It talks about faith and doubt, and about faith as being a way of life that forms itself around trusting God instead of assuming a fearful state. It talks about how the Bible addresses the problem of pain.
Last night, after reading that book and before dinner, I got an email updating us on the condition of a man at our church in Blacksburg. He has been struggling with melanoma and other complications, and we were dismayed to hear that he may only have a few months to live, and we know that if he goes soon, he'll leave behind his wife and two kids.
Over dinner I shared all this turmoil in my heart with Justin, and he encouraged me with the things he's been learning about the same issues. He said to have hope in God, don't try to deal with it on your own, and just focus on knowing and worshiping God again.
Today, I heard that somebody shot around forty people on the Virginia Tech campus, killing more than twenty of them. I heard from my brother and Justin's sister; they're both okay. I've heard about several friends and they've all been okay.
I don't think that my loss or the trauma I've experienced is much to report on the scale of what has happened today. Everything seems surreal and I feel purposeless, and the intensity of the wind outside, trying to get in, only makes the feeling worse.